How Is This My Fault?

Dear Mom and Dad,

Let me start with this:

I hear what you have been saying about me and my sister Dottie. You talk about me with disdain and open frustration as if we're not right here listening to you. It's very demeaning.

Next, I'd like to set the record straight on several topics of discussion.

One:

I am the first child in this family. If you wanted me to believe I was just a pet, you should have treated me as such from the beginning. But instead, YOU coddled me and babied me and taught me to think I'm the most important thing in your life. If I act spoiled sometimes, it's on YOU, not me.

Two:

I use the floor as my own personal bathroom. So does Dottie. This is non-negotiable, and nothing can change it. It will be much more peaceful if you come to terms with this. Your choices are:

a) Leave us to do what we want while you are gone.

b) Lock us in a kennel. We've proven before that this is disastrous. You get home to poop-smeared dogs and kennel every time. Learn this already!

c) Lock us in the back yard. Also worth learning: you'll arrive home to mud-covered dogs, a dug up back yard, and us sitting on your front porch when you arrive home.

It should be said here that again, this is not on us. YOU are the one who chooses to leave us in the first place. Make sure you understand where the fault lies here.

Three:

Basic 'human' food rules: If it is on the short table, it's mine. If it is in a child's hand, it's mine. If it is on the dinner table and you aren't home, it's mine.

Therefore, it should come as no surprise when you arrive home to find my paw prints on the chair and a cake half-eaten. If you were supposed to deliver it in an hour and worked on it for a whole day... not my fault. You didn't want it eaten? Don't leave it out!

And a side note on this: I don't get it when you popped me after I stole Avery's pb&j a few hours later. What? This is what I do. I'm not sure I understand where your anger issues come from.

Listen. I am a gem. If you don't get that and can't start appreciating me for who I am, then Aunt Sandie says she'd be happy to take me back. And I'd probably be happier there anyways. She loves me for who I am.

CLICK HERE FOR PICTURES OF THE WEEK (including my handiwork)

Cordially,

The Sadly Misunderstood Oscar Mayer

Boys Vs. Girls

Mommy and I have been noticing some basic differences between us girls and some of the guys in our lives.

Boys: Have camping parties with live goldfish and caterpillars and crickets.

Girls: Give royal nicknames to the ladies in my family: Princess Maya (me), Princess Candice Alicia (Kate), Princess Bat Girl (Mommy), and Princess Polka Dot (Amelia). (And when people ask me if Mommy is a Super Hero, I get very confused. A Super Hero? No, she just happened to get a bat ring in a prize box the other day.)

Boys: Go camping and eat their share of wild game. Including a rabbit. And a snake.

Girls: Go to Disney on Ice. Dressed as princesses.

It's probably better that Mommy had girls. And so far, that we're happy being girly for the most part. She's good at tea parties and dressing in princess attire. Not so much with acting brave around bugs.

CLICK HERE FOR PICTURES OF THE WEEK

Love,

Princess Maya McClinton

Happy Birthday, DD!

My DD turned another year older this weekend, and I got to help him celebrate in style. First, I painted a poster for him. Katie Beth helped. By standing on it and tracking paint all over the kitchen.

Then, Mommy and Daddy made him a special cake (with my critical eye giving advice here and there). It wasn't going to be ready until Sunday, so when I went to spend the night with him on Saturday night, I tried so hard not to give away the secret...

In the bathtub...

(Rolling out a washcloth) "DD, I'm making some fondant for my cake." (Oops!)

In the kitchen, later...

"DD! For your birthday, I'm giving you a..." (warning look from Nana)... "Kate!"

On Sunday, we went to The Aquarium to celebrate DD's birthday. He really loves me and Kate, because he's happily given up restaurants like Fogo De Chao for birthday celebrations in favor of the happy screams and shrieks he gets at The Aquarium. For DD's birthday, I got to ride the train into the shark tunnel, ride the carousel, dance with bubbles, count eels, squeal with glee at the sea horses, and eat a delicious meal. Thank you for loving me so much, DD, that you choose such a special place for me to eat at on your birthday!

Click here for pictures of the week

Love,

Avery "Celebrate in Style" McClinton

Egg Hunting Tips

This was my first Easter to participate in, and it took me a few egg hunts to figure out the subtle ins and outs of professional egg hunting. Now that I've got it down to a science, I want to make sure I don't forget any of it by next year.

Notes to self:

*Not all eggs are created equal. Some are full of chocolate and some just have goldfish. It is imperative to check the egg before putting it into the basket. Can't have any goldfish-filled eggs taking up all of the space in the basket!

*Once the Easter basket gets full, Mommy tries to take it away and give me an empty one. No way! The solution: don't ever let your basket get full. Once there are a good number of eggs in the basket, sit down and open and eat many of the eggs. Leave the empty ones (and the plain ole goldfish ones) in the grass. Then, continue the hunt.

*There are several confetti eggs hidden among the others. You can tell these by the tissue paper tops. Total waste of time. Step over them if you must, but do not put them in your basket.

And one more note to Mom and Dad: Avery and I are only two girls, not a whole village. At some point, the amount of eggs in our backyard becomes boring. Two basket fulls of eggs for each of us is probably plenty for the next go 'round.

CLICK HERE FOR PICTURES FROM THE WEEK (including a trip to Lockhart, Avery's class butterfly release, Easter Fest at the church and 3 egg hunts! 58 pictures total - sorry for the excess.)

Love,

Katie Beth Egg Hunter Pro McClinton

The Easter Fun Has Begun!

This week, my playgroup pals and I enjoyed an Easter party. Mommy only had to show me what to do once for the egg hunt; after I understood what was inside the eggs, I was hooked! I've been walking all over the house putting eggs into my Easter basket ever since. Sadly, they don't always have treats inside... what gives?

We also got to dress up in our fancy Easter dresses today and take pictures. I love my Easter hat! It was windy outside and every time the wind blew my hat off, I'd yell, "No! Haaah!" It makes me feel so 'glamorous', as Fancy Nancy and Fancy Avery would say, that I wear it even when I'm not in my Easter dress. It's a little big on me... but at my size, what isn't big on me?

I hear there is more Easter fun on the way: Easter Fest at my church AND celebrating the real deal with my family. All I have to say is, there better be treats in the eggs!

CLICK HERE FOR PHOTOS OF THE WEEK

Love,

Katie Beth "Egg Hunter Extraordinaire" McClinton

Spring Break Means...

Of course Spring Break means no school or regular activities for a week... but this week, for me, Spring Break also meant...

*Picnicking and biking with the family
*St. Patty's Playgroup Fun
*Green jello and green mashed potatoes with Daddy on St. Patrick's Day
*RODEO! (Which I loved. Kate was terrified at the Petting Zoo, but Ms. Gen pointed out that it's probably because the size ratio was similar to an adult being released in an elephant den. Makes sense...!)
*Spending time outside with Nana and DD
*Snail gardens and flower picking
*Kite flying (and chasing)

Tonight at bedtime, I told Mommy and Daddy that I have so much to tell Miss Barbara and Miss Michelle about at school tomorrow. It was such a special week!

CLICK HERE FOR PICTURES OF THE WEEK

Love,
Avery Spring Break McClinton

Mommy Loves The Little Gym

And so do I!

I know Mommy loves The Little Gym because her face lights up when we walk through the doors. She says it's her favorite hour of the week. I don't know why Mommy loves The Little Gym. Maybe it's because it's time we spend together, just the two of us, working on independence and self-esteem but also bonding. Or maybe it's because I'm so small that it's like I'm making a joke every time I do the activities. I don't really know why Mommy loves The Little Gym, but I know why I love it!

I love the bells. I love the bubbles. I love the balls. I love the parachute. I love the exploring time. I love forward rolls and straddle rolls. I love backwards whoop-de-doos. I especially love hanging from the bars and climbing on the obstacle courses. I love Miss Paige and I love it when she uses me as an example in class. I love the routines and being able to anticipate what comes next. Classes at The Little Gym were the perfect birthday present for me!

CLICK HERE FOR PICTURES OF THE WEEK

Love,

Katie Beth "Small Enough to be a Gymnast" McClinton