How To Get Attention in 10 Easy Steps

(Or: Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better)

By Katie Beth

1. Start at your 9 month check up, gaining less weight than desired.

2. Three weeks before your desired day of attention, begin sporting 103.5 temperatures, off and on, with no real reason and no side effects.

3. Baffle doctors when Mom takes you in after 2 weeks of this.

4. And this is important, choose a weekend full of big plans, most of which you'd be certain to be a spectator rather than a participant.

5. That particular weekend, shoot the fever up to an all time high.

6. This should result in a baffled Mommy and Daddy and a full day at the doctor's office (if possible, plan this for a Saturday, so as to cancel the family trip to Dewberry Farm).

7. Make sure your white blood count is up.

8. (This is where the first step factors in.) Your tiny size, coupled with your elevated white blood count and inexplicable high temperature, will be sure to get your doctors worried. The most important part, step 8, is to make sure this all happens on a Sunday, when there is no other choice but to go straight to the ER.

9. If at all possible, coordinate with the doctor to call Daddy with this news right before he goes on to lead worship for the first time ever.

10. Since Daddy isn't immediately available, Mommy and DD will come along with you to the ER. Daddy will join you after he plays his music, giving you 3 adults, trapped for 6.5 hours, in a tiny room with nothing to do but lavish attention on you. (It's polite to think of Sister, too - make sure her Nana can take her to her first ever Tea Party and provide her with a day of fun.)

Bonus Step: If somehow you notice Sister regains control of the attention when you return home, you can finish the night with a 45 minute scream fest resulting from excessive constipation.

Yes, you will be poked and prodded and stuck and x-rayed, but those are small prices to pay for the sympathy, love, and special treatment you receive. And, I haven't proven this yet, but I suspect that the week following a traumatic series of events such as these will be full of more sympathy, more love, and more special treatment.

CLICK HERE FOR PICTURES OF THE WEEK (including well and sick days)

Sister may have made a trip to the ER, but I think I've got her beat. Go ahead, Avery. Anything you can do, I can do better!

State Fair of Texas

What a week this has been! It started out not-so-good for poor Katie, who sported a 103.5 fever with an un-diagnosable virus. Luckily for me, school and Miss Emilee kept me from being a prisoner of boredom while sister was ill. Miss Emilee picked me up and took me to playgroup on Tuesday with Hannah and Abigail. Man, was that fun!

Luckily, by the time we headed to Dallas for the State Fair of Texas, we were all healthy and excited! At the fair, we visited a petting zoo (with MEAN ostriches that Mommy watched peck a little girl's face once - we stayed away from them!), watched dancers, visited the auto show, and rode a carousel and the Sky Tram with Mimi. We had lots of wonderful family time, and indulged in many fair treats. I loved the cotton candy, Katie preferred the chocolate covered strawberries, and Mommy and Daddy tried some of the bizarre fried foods - fried s'mores and fried butter!

While we were away, Oscar stayed with my friend Tyler and Dottie stayed with my friends Cole and Chase. They sent us letters from their vacations, and they're too funny! Keep reading to see what Miss Ella and Miss Steph translated for them.

CLICK HERE FOR PICTURES

(Mommy is always so thankful to Nana and DD and Aunt Erin for sharing their pictures with us. This is a compilation of the collective pictures from the weekend.)

Love,

Avery Big Tex McClinton

10/10/09

Dear Mom (aka Ms. Angela),
Greetings from Camp Coco-ee! How's your weekend trip? I've had a blast, and Ella says I've adjusted surprisingly well! {Pats on the back.} Top ten things I learned while I was here...

1. Ella says I have exactly three moods: Cautiously excited, Excited, and Super Excited. Which results in non-stop tail-wagging.
2. My tail and toenails are teaming up to audition for 'Stomp.' They create amazing beats against my cage, wood floors, legs, doorways... you name it, they make a beat with it.
3. I harmonize impressively well with Chester. His barking + my howling = dog music bliss.
4. I have sleep apnea. Oh, and awake apnea. I snort and snore and make funny squeaky noises. At one point, Ella peeked in Cole's room during naptime thinking he was playing around, but it turned out to be me, doing an impressive job of throwing squeaky noises across the room. On the plus side, Chester and I got to go potty at 3 a.m! (Super excited tail wags for that!) Ella thought I was whining but she figured out later that I was just doing the apnea thing.
5. I'm a total people pleaser. Ella thought I was genuinely always happy until Cole held me in his lap a while and made my ears stand on end. My tail continued to wag nonstop, and she recognized my people-pleasing ways. She recommends Gentle Lessons from a Recovering People Pleaser, by Alice McDowell.
6. I LOVE dog treats and can beat Chester in a faux-bacon-strip-eating contest hands down, every time. (By the way, I have lots of dog food left but am all out of dog treats. That's just the way of the Hearrean household.)
7. Ella laughs every time I try to be incognito. Apparently hunching down really low to the ground and avoiding eye contact with Chase doesn't do much. I have to work on this.
8. Unfortunately, Chester and I both have the same love language: physical touch. And we both want it from the same person: Ella. So we spend the entire day pushing the other out of her lap or away from her leg (a la roller derby.) Which leads to lots of tripping (on Ella's part) and a couple of head injuries (on our parts.)
9. I've met the cats and dad is right. They're "mangey." Except the big long-haired fat cat, but he's the neighbor and steals all the food.
10. I miss Avery and Kate! I mean yeah, it's been a nice break from their annoying ways, but the kid over here-- Cole-- is a little weird. He insisted on decorating my cage with all his toys, and so every few hours, a teether or plastic wrench falls through the cage bars and litters my sacred space. Very odd.

Miss you! See you tomorrow!
Many tail wags,
Dottie

CLICK HERE FOR DOTTIE'S PICTURES

Dear Mommy (Angela)-

This is the coolest place ever! The master over here (Stephanie) is so nice! Dottie and I had to mark our place right after you left us. It was fun seeing Stephanie clean up poop and pee :) I want to be everywhere she is all the time - even when sleeping! She moves a lot and always bumps into me while sleeping. Can't that girl stay still? I was comfortable! I am even the king of the bed, the other dog here let me be on the bed and he slept on the floor - haha, sucker! I even took over his food and I told him he can have my food. The only annoying thing is the kid here, Tyler. He is ALWAYS calling my name, he wants me to do that, go here, sit on his lap, stay here and all sorts of stuff. I torture the kid by sitting on his lap and getting off. He always cries when I leave and I think it is funny! Even though I am having so much fun I miss you and can't wait to see you tomorrow!

Love,
Oscar

(AS YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY GUESSED, OSCAR WOULDN'T SIT STILL FOR PICTURES!) :)

Welcome, Fall!

We welcomed fall this week with a trip to the pumpkin patch, a carnival at my school, and some good, comfortable playtime outside.

On the way home from St. Peter's Family Fall Festival, I was telling Mommy about the clown we saw in the "bestibul". Mommy was so confused about why we were talking about vegetables, and finally thought she had it figured out:
Mommy:"OH! You mean the clown was close to where you are growing vegetables in your classroom's garden?"
Me: "No, Mommy. But I love you anyway."

Later, I told Nana and Aunt Amanda about seeing the clown at the bestibul, and they both understood me right away - the festival!

CLICK HERE FOR PICTURES OF THE WEEK

Love,
Avery Bestibul Queen McClinton

Nana and DD's House

This week, I got to spend some time at Nana and DD's house while Mommy and Daddy had their date night. While I was there, I was busy, busy. I practiced my demi "pwea-As" (pleas) and tried to get Kate to eat at the tea party correctly. She is so naughty! She eats the cardboard and throws the food on the floor. I tried to talk DD into a swim in the pool first thing in the morning, but settled for a wagon ride instead.
I didn't sleep much, though. When Kate cried very late one night and I met Nana in the hallway to check on her, DD jokingly said, "Well, why don't we all go downstairs and watch some TV since we're all awake?" I took his hand, smiled, and said, "That sounds wike a good idea. I haven't been downstairs in a while."
I also got to eat my first ever Dairy Queen treat - a chocolate covered ice cream cone. Yum!

Love,
Avery Busy, Busy McClinton

CLICK HERE FOR PICTURES FROM THE WEEK

PS - I also helped Daddy run some errands, and when a car pulled out in front of him, he mumbled something to them. Later on, I helped him out! Another car did the same thing, and I yelled, "Come on, Midions!" Daddy thinks I heard him call the other car idiots. Sorry for telling on you, Daddy! :)

Park Day and Date Night

I took Sister to the park on Friday. She usually can't get down at the park because she likes to eat the mulch or rocks. But at Mary Jo Peckham, there isn't anything for her to eat! She got to crawl around, and I think the park is her new wonderland. She climbed the structures, slid down the slides, and squealed with delight the entire time. I got so excited watching her, I sometimes would slide down right on top of her. It was magnificent (that's a fancy word for fun).

Friday night I got to have my date night with Mommy and Daddy. We started with shrimp with Nana and DD and Katie. Daddy taught me a new trick with oranges and lemons. Then, off we went to Katy Mills so I could spend all of the coins in my Tink bank. Mommy and Daddy said this month's date was a 'cheap' date, but I couldn't believe all the fun you can have with $15 in coins! I rode the carousel and the train, put a bunch of pennies down the well, and hung out at Bass Pro Shop. When my date was over, though, I had to tell DD, "This was so sad of a night." Some of the coin operated machines weren't working, and the little claw game was too hard to win, and the ice cream shop we tried to go to wasn't open. Mommy had a long talk with me after that about focusing on the good parts of life. I just call it like I see it.

CLICK HERE FOR PICS OF THE WEEK

Love,
Avery Call It Like It Is McClinton

PS - Kate's new tricks this week:
"Ooo, Ooo" (what a dog says - it really sounds sort of like a bark. A girl dog bark.)
Climbing down stairs
Biting friends (oh, right, that's an old trick. She's just honing those skills.)

Important Things

So many important things have been going on in the last few weeks!

I started school on my birthday. I go two days a week now instead of just one like last year. I walk into the building with my friends and my teacher instead of having Mommy drop me off. I act like it's no big thing. I'm so lucky because I have my friends Hannah and Jackson in my class. I really like my teachers, Ms. Michelle and Ms. Barbara, and I love playing playdough and motor skills and a new place called chapel. Some days, I tell Mama some things about my day, but other times, I just tell her, "I don't want to tell you anything about it." And that's that.

For my birthday, I got to start going to dance lessons at Adamsons Ballet School. I went for the first time this week, and at first I had to make sure everyone noticed me by crying and carrying on. Once I started participating, though, I loved every second of it, and the first thing I said to Mommy when time was up was, "Can I please come back here again soon?" The only thing I wondered about was that Mommy told me I'd get to dance like So You Think You Can Dance and I didn't notice a stage at all. I asked Mommy where the stage was, and she promised me I'll dance on one in May!

Katie Beth is also growing really fast. Well, maybe not growing, as in gaining weight, but changing and learning, for sure. She learned how to stand all by herself lately, and then started taking a few steps (usually 3-5 at a time). She likes to sit in a big girl chair with me when she eats, too. She's also talking more, saying, "Wah-whoo?!" while she holds a phone to her ear, calling for Mama and Dada and DD and even sometimes flirting with Nana and calling her name.

We also went to lots more parties, fought off a cold, visited with Aunts and Uncles and the all important cousin, and swam a few last times.

And you know, now that I'm three, I've got this whole thing figured out.

For one, Daddy is really good at pancakes. And reminding Mommy of this when she's struggling to turn one over is known as perfect timing.
Daddy also has really big muscles. He uses them to carry heavy furniture, replace batteries, fix computers, and all sorts of other things.
My mommy, she's good at "wearing necklaces and cleaning tables". And, according to me, not much else. (But Mommy knows we're BFFs no matter what I say.)

CLICK HERE FOR PICTURES AND VIDEOS

Lots to say this week! Lots going on!

Love,

Dancing Queen Avery

Princess Party!

On Friday I celebrated my birthday with my friends with a Princess Party. DD built me a castle and Daddy painted a puppet theater for me, Aunt Megan painted faces, and there were lots of other stations, too. My friends and I all dressed up and we played and played. Miss Ella brought my cake and it was spectacular - 3 tiers!

It was such a special day. And, of course, I added my own attitude... On the way to the party, I told Nana I wouldn't have time for her. "My friends will be wined (lined) up to see me," I explained. Afterwards, when Nana tried to hold my hand on the way home, I told her, "Nana, I have to tell you something. When you having a birthday... I too old to hold your hand." Of course, the next day, when Nana asked me again why I couldn't hold her hand, I grinned, grabbed her hand, and told her, "I still learning to be older."

CLICK HERE FOR PICTURES FROM THE PARTY

Love,

Avery Learning to Be Older McClinton